My photos

I hope you've followed Luke's link to the haircut photos. Those of you who know me are wondering about now how I could let him take those pictures. As you know, I'm one of those people who hide from the camera. As a teenager and young adult I was petite and thin. As I got older and remarried I grew outward and so hate to see pictures of myself. Photos always surprise and mortify me because I don't look as big to myself in the mirror (or in my mind) as I do in photos. Having said that, then why all these pictures? I'll tell you.

I have to face this thing dead on. I have to look right at every aspect of it no matter how unflattering and say, so what? As I grew heavier I remained proud of my thick, healthy, wavy/curly hair. You can see from the pictures, even though it was short, there was a lot to come off because it's so thick. Now it's gone. And I've been told there's no telling what will grow back. It could be a different color or texture or anything. And I say, so what?

I'm not suggesting this is easy. Having Jeremy and Luke give me a buzz cut was my way of taking a little control. There's so little you can control with cancer. And it gave us a chance to laugh and make fun of the whole thing together.

It's painful to look in the mirror and see dark stuble on a big round head. But it is what it is. Life is change and this is the journey my family and I have to take. Documenting it in words and photos is our way of saying #*@% Cancer!