Tuesday, January 31, 2006

19 . . .

Yesterday I went to this program for women with cancer called "Look Good, Feel Better." Ideally you would do this early in your treatment because they give you tips on wearing a wig and skin care and such. They also give you a bunch of free makeup and show you how to properly apply it. Sounds fun, huh? Not as much as you might think. It was me and three old ladies. One of them brought her husband and 15 year old grandson. Weird!

The drive is getting to be automatic. I went to the library and got a couple of books on CD and I listen to one of those on the road. It's weird listening to these things. It takes some getting used to. Some are no good because the readers aren't good and you're too aware of the reader to focus on the story. Others are read with flare and you get right into it. At the end they say something like, "Thank you for reading audio books." Which is an oxymoron, I think, but they want people to feel like they are readers. I don't know why. Experiencing the book is the important part, not the action (or inaction in the case of audio books) used to experience it.

Now I'm starting to feel like maybe I should be using that time in the car better. Maybe I should be learning another language or something. Be constructive.

Anyway, the time is passing quickly now that I've finished the first week. That week was frustrating because it seemed that each day there was something additional to be done that they didn't tell me about and I never knew when to tell my boss I'd get to work. Now I have a routine and don't go into work until noon (work till six) so I feel more flexible.

I'm still having pain in my left kidney and am waiting on a urinalysis culture done last week. Frustrating!

The good thing that happened: I've been very lucky with pleasant weather for driving.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

22 to Go

Can't say much today because I haven't much time, but I wanted to sign in and say I'm doing fine. I'm having computer issues which are keeping me from writing.

I'm into the swing of driving back and forth. Then I come home, eat and take a nap before going to work at noon. I'm working six hours a day for now.

The physical therapist strongly recommends daily exercise to fight the fatigue, but I can't walk very long with my feet the way they are. They're still very painful. Or rather, more painful now that I'm not taking the neurontin. I'm hopeful the pain will ease with time. With walking out, I started riding my bike to work again this week. That seems to be working out and helping. I'm certainly sleeping more soundly. It's bad to be tired all the time and not be able to sleep.

Time's run out, gotta head out.

Monday, January 16, 2006

29 to Go

Four radiation treatments down and just 29 to go. What a wacky world! I am told I must try not to get soap on my breast because the lines they draw are with an iodine pen and they don't want them to come off. The first time they drew them was a week before treatment started. By the time I went in for the first treatment the lines had faded so much they looked like scars all over my chest. The pink lines matched my surgery scars.

Okay, here's my first rant about this phase of treatment. I was pretty frustrated when I went in on January 3rd to get the markings. I had been told before Christmas that I'd start actual treatment the first week of January. But no! It turns out I had to wait a week after the line drawing. That pushed back the cancer treatment finale another week. And there's more! Treatment isn't actually six weeks, it's really 33 days, Monday through Friday, which is six and a half weeks plus the week of waiting after going in for the marking. What all this means is that instead of finishing mid-February as I expected, it's now looking like just a few days before my birthday. My boob will still be "sunburned."

You'd think by this time I'd've learned to stop planning for the end of treatment and just take things as they come. Having to wait until the second week of January actually worked in my favor. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to go with Luke on our jaunt through Texas.

I used to like to say, "If it's not one thing, it's another." Like Roseanne Roseannadanna. But these days a more fitting thing would be, "When it rains, it pours!" Because I never have only one problem. Always they come in clusters. Last week I started treatment and developed a kidney infection. I finished the anti-biotic today, thank goodness, because it was making me queasy and I haven't been sleeping. Inability to sleep is actually a side effect of the anti-biotic. Not a good thing when I'm driving to Alexandria and back daily. My right arm is sore, also, and I can't raise it with the elbow bent (like I'm flying). This means I need Luke to help me undress. Fun, sure, under the right circumstances, but not when you don't have a choice.

The good thing: the radiation oncologist has a physical therapist on staff because he recognized a need that, more often than not, wasn't being addressed by either the surgeons or the chemo oncologists. The information I've gotten on how I should treat my arm and whether to wear the sleeve has been conflicting. It was a relief to get instructions I can feel confident in. I'll meet with her tomorrow about my arm and find out what I need to do.

Can't stay awake any more. I might rewrite this later, but for now I'll publish this as is.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Marked Woman

Okay, so I haven't been exactly gabby lately and I've neglected even the pretence of keeping up the blog. The truth is, I just haven't felt like turning the computer on. If I could do this while I was at work it might be different, but I can't and so this is it.

Here's where I stand. I've started radiation and have had two treatments. Last week I wrote a rant about being marked, but I can't seem to either locate it or muster up the indignation I was feeling at the time. Here's the super watered down version of last weeks appointment.

I went in to be marked on Tuesday the 3rd. This took forever and was sheer torture. Here's how it goes. They position you on the x-ray table with your breasts exposed, both arms above your head, your head turned slightly to the left (left for me, your experiences may be different, taking into account the actual breast to be treated) and told to remain still, don't move, while they take x-rays. Then they have to find the doctor to look at the films and make sure all is right, please remain still. And they leave you there for a really long time, half naked and afraid to move because then they'd have to start all over. After the doctor comes in and looks at you the tech tickles you with a pen to draw lines on you. All this time I'm thinking of "Survivor" where they make people stand in awkward positions for hours to win immunity. I concluded that I'd never win the immunity necklace because I wouldn't even try. By the time she finally let me move (I think I was in that position for 30 minutes or more) both of my hands were completely numb and my left arm was dead. I had to sit up on the table a bit before standing because of the dizziness caused by my blood starting to circulate again. Honestly, I almost cried lying on that table.

Oh, no. I can't finish now, I have to get on the road to Alexandria for this morning's treatment. Tune in next time for the continuing saga (and I'll try to remember to continue it).

Monday, January 09, 2006

Pictures from Glen Rose, TX

I had to take a quick business trip out to Greenville, TX on Friday and since Dawn was willing to come with me we decided to live "free and easy" and did some extra traveling. After visiting our friends the Nesom's in Ft.Worth were we checked out a downtown comedy club on Friday night, we headed out to Glen Rose, TX on Saturday to see dinosaur footprints in the Pawtuxley River riverbed.

Here are some pics!

- Luke

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Holidays are Wrapped Up

A belated Happy Holidays to everyone. We made it through Christmas and it turned out to be a nice holiday weekend even though everything is so weird this year. Normally we would go down to New Orleans for Christmas.

It's January 2nd now and we go back to work tomorrow. I don't want to. Three days off is not enough. I have things to do and as always, not enough time. I suppose if I had more energy I'd be able to use my time better. Yet another frustration.

The weather was beautiful yesterday and the day before, but today, believe it or not, it was too hot. I'm painting two bedside tables out in the garage and I had to stop and get out of the heat. People are saying things like, "Nearly 80 degrees on January 2, can you believe it!" But, truthfully, everyone can. Or at least those who've grown up in Louisiana. Because here you may be bundled against the wind and cold on Christmas or New Years, or running around in shorts. Sometimes both in the same year. Neither is unusual. Last year (2004) when we went to New Orleans for Christmas we were stuck an extra day because it snowed and the roads were closed.

Physically, I've been getting better and stronger, but emotionally I had a little set back today. Maybe it came out as a stress releaser after the holidays. Maybe, this whole trip has gone on too long and it's getting harder for me to "keep my chin up."

I'm looking ahead to radiation treatment. This is supposed to cause more fatigue and the driving back and forth to Alexandria won't help. I wish I knew someone there to stay with during the week for the last couple of weeks. I'd take off from work. But that's not realistic anyway because the radiation doesn't really take long and there's no reason I can't work at least half days.

I know, cheer up! The end is in sight. By my birthday, March 2, I should be finished with treatments, but not with doctors. I have tests to do in Mid-March and regular checkups thereafter.

The good thing that happened: Talked to Clint on the phone for long while. As usual, he made me laugh.