Tuesday, July 18, 2006

First three month checkup

I fooled around and didn't find a new onc so I had to go back to Dr. No-bedside-manner.

Good news is no signs of problems in the cancer department.

Bad news: creatinine is 1.8. Very depressing. And I'm pretty anemic. Onc says it's because my kidney's are getting worse. They aren't stimulating the bone marrow to produce red blood cells.

Well that explains why I'm still so tired, whether I sleep 6, 8 or 10 hours a night.

Now I have to have the aranesp shots every two weeks again.

Well that's life, isn't it?

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Life marches on!

I can't believe I forgot to post about my last doctor appointment and scans. The truth is when I finished treatment I didn't want anything more to do with anything cancer! Not even this blog.

Much time has passed, but I'll briefly fill in the details.

Had PET and CT scans. I am officially NED!! That's a good thing. It means no evidence of disease. I saw the onc and he gave me this wonderful news, told me to come back in three months and asked if I had any questions or problems. That's when I explained to him about the prickling/itching nerve-endings-firing thing I have now when I either get stressed or too hot. (Lord help me make through Louisiana summer - which is going to be all year round with the global warming that G.B. says doesn't exist). His response (a-hole) was, say it with me, "Chemo doesn't cause that." He said he gets that all the time if he wears too many sweaters, etc, blah, blah, blah. I told him it wasn't prickly heat, which is what he was implying, but he didn't believe me. "Yes, yes," he said, "That's happens to everyone."

"No," I said, "This isn't like that." But he doesn't listen. We were very close to raising our voices at each other. I simply have to find a new onc. On the day I should have been elated with the news I left his office frustrated. This cannot be good for my health.

I also saw my nephrologist. Good news there too. It looks like my creatinine is staying at about 1.4 which is a bit high for normal kidneys, but nothing to worry about it. It had gotten all the way up to 1.9 while on the chemo and there was some fear the chemo might do permanent damage. My cholesterol is still high, but I can't take the meds because it affects my liver function. Let's face it, I got a lemon for a body. I think the key to everything is going to be to lose weight.

The months have passed by. Jeremy graduated from high school, which nearly proved to be my undoing. THIS, not cancer treatment, is what caused me to need antidepressants. Can you believe it? He'll be going away to college in less than two months. I keep telling myself I should look forward to having that back room for myself, but I'm still quite anxious about the whole thing. I should have had more children! Or not!

I've gone back to 10 hr days/4 day weeks at work. They gave us Monday, July 3 off just because we have the 4th off. That gives me a 5 day weekend, Friday-Tuesday. Can't beat that!

Next Thursday it's time for my follow-up with the radiation oncologist. I'm going to ask him to recommend a new chemo onc to replace Dr. No-Bedside-Manner. I've got to pick one soon or go back to the old guy as July is my third month.

I think I'm shaking most of the chemo-brain problem. I'm able to think again and remember words and I haven't stuttered in a while. Judging by Luke's reactions I'd say my sense of humor is normalizing too. I tried to hang on to the humor while going through this, and I believe the experience of it would have been worse without it, but I did lose my quickness and some of my wit. Now I'm wise-cracking again and Luke is saying things like, "THAT'S my Dawn! I knew you'd come back!"

The good thing that happened today: They had soft pretzels for sale when we went for groceries this morning, which was good because we hadn't had any breakfast.

Things I want to do: I still want to sky dive and parasail. But most of all I want to get physical again and get back into shape.