bones

My bones, my bones ache! Tylenol helps. Barbara told me it was the neulasta shot - the one they gave the day after chemo to stimulate blood cell production. That would make sense, since it's the bone marrow that has that job.

Yesterday I called the nurse and told her I was waking up in the middle of the night feeling nauseaus. At least four nurses and the doctor had told me to call if the nausea wasn't under control and not to wait till it was bad, but to do something right away. It wasn't bad, but I thought, if I'm taking sleeping pills and it's still waking me up maybe I should call. Not only that, but I was so cold I had to wrap my head in a blanket. So I called. This is why it is so hard to be a patient. The nurse basically said to me, what do you expect, you just had chemo? This made me feel stupid and those of you who know me know that's the hardest emotion for me. My voice started to quiver and I fought back tears of shame. She said she'd give the doc the message. Later she called back and said the doc wanted to call in a script for ativan. Guess she caught the shaking in my voice. It's funny how you can feel so confident one moment and like jello the next.

It was a beautiful day when I got home from work so I made myself walk the block. It was slow going, because of my bone tired bones, but I felt better after.

I took the ativan last night before I went to bed and slept through the night. I don't think I feel nausea this morning. Strange, but it's hard to say. I feel okay, but like I'm standing on the edge of sickness and any step could take me over into feeling sick. I'm not going to take anything for it right now, because the med makes me sleepy. See how the day goes without it.

It's hard to explain how I feel. It's not horrible, or excruciating pain, it's more like an ache, everywhere. And a little queasy. It's hard to move around. It's such an effort to do anything. I wish it were summer. I bet it would help to float in Bobbie's pool a little.

Here's what I ate yesterday: two bagels, a cup of chicken noodle soup, two handfuls of cheezit crackers, two jello geletin cups and a strawberry creamslush from Sonic. I also drank a cup of hot tea, a couple bottles of water and a big bottle of seven up. I think I'll have that again today.

It's very important to watch for fever so I bought a brand new shiny digital thermometer. My temp yesterday was 97.7. This morning it's 97.0. I'm getting colder. I better go get in the shower and let the warm water thaw me out.

If you'll glance downward you'll see that Luke has posted some pics for your amusement.