Thursday

Big day today. Still covered with hives. I took benadryll, which helps, but after about 3 hours they start to itch and swell again. The mammogram hurt and she kept coming to get me for more pictures. Finally she was satisfied and she took me in for the ultrasound. There’s my lump. I wonder if it is really as big as it looks? I was afraid to ask.

Dr. Marler is the surgeon. later in the afternon, at his office, I started to get indignant waiting to be seen. Somehow I feel like I should be treated better. Preferential treatment for the cancer patient! Can’t they see I don’t have time for this!

Finally they put me in a room. His nurse, Sherry, came in to take the health history and asked, “What brings you here today?”

What?!

“Cancer,” I say.

Pause. Then, “Don’t say that. It might not be.”

I was stunned for a minute because I expected her to know why I was there. I explained the pathology report on the neck lump and that the radiologist who did the ultrasound was definite it was a tumor in my breast. I told her, “Dr. Badeaux’s nurse said he called and told Dr. Marler we were coming and why.”

Dr. Marler came in and said he hadn't gotten a call from Dr. Badeaux.

I spread my arms out and said, “Surprise!”

He laughed and I was relieved he had a sense of humor.

Then Dr. Marler pulled open the paper shirt to examine my breast and jumped back at the sight of the hives. “What’s that?”

I laughed and said, “Hives, I think. It’s been too long since my last dose of benadryl.”

Luke said, “Funny thing. She spontaneously broke out in hives when they told her she was going to die of cancer.”

Poor Sherry looked stricken so I quickly told her that they really said it much nicer than that.

Although Dr. Marler would usually schedule a breast biopsy for Friday, he offered to do it that evening after he finished with his other patients since we came from Natchitoches. It was good of him to not make us come back.

Here’s what the breast biopsy is like. I couldn’t see, but Luke could. The surgeon anesthetizes the breast. Then he makes a slit with a scalpel. Then he takes a harpoon and inserts it in the breast. The harpoon is spring loaded so that it snaps back pulling and trapping tissue. He showed Luke the tumor tissue and I said, “I want to see.” He showed me the bloody harpoon. Oops! I really just wanted to see the tumor tissue.

The good thing about today: Dr. Marler and his nurse have a sense of humor and aren’t at all put off by Luke and I making tasteless cracks. This is important because I intend to survive this by making tasteless jokes whenever possible. You may have already noticed a thread of sarcasm running through this blog.