“It’s cancer.” Two little words and everything changed. I didn’t want to believe it, but in a way it was just what I expected to hear. Or not. Consciously, while going through the needle biopsy and taking the antibiotics and continuing to feel the lump in my neck, I believed that the doctor was just spending my money and time and inconveniencing me. But if I believed that then why did I keep catching myself rehearsing how to tell people? And yet, this couldn’t happen to me because, as I’ve said many times, I don’t have any risk factors for cancer. My family’s health history is full of other ailments, but cancer? No way. I was almost a snob about it. Other people had cancer; we had heart disease, kidney disease and diabetes. These were the names of our health failings. We were a cancer-free family.
Never say never. It isn’t fair really. Oh, I know everyone feels that way. But really! I already have a potentially fatal disease. I’m dealing with my share, aren’t I? I truly think one per lifetime is enough. This is so unseemly. And how did this happen? I did the self-breast exams. I never felt the menace within. It’s only been a year (well, okay, 14 months) since my last mammogram. How did this thing in my breast get so big and spread to my neck so quickly?
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I want to chronicle this experience because I have a feeling it might be one of the more profound of my life. Dah, ya think?
So where do I begin?
It was January and the soccer season was winding down. I decided to start riding my bike to work. One night at bedtime, after a couple of days of riding to work, my neck and right shoulder started to hurt. It felt like muscle pain. I thought I must have been straining it somehow on the ride. By morning there was swelling and I could feel a lump in my neck. I thought maybe it was a spider bite. Dr. Long agreed and gave me antibiotics. The swelling went down but the lump was still there so she sent me to an ear, nose and throat doc (Badeaux ). He gave me more antibiotics and did a needle biopsy in his office.
A few days later:
Good news! No malignancy. But the lump was still there. More antibiotics. Come back in a few days.
2 comments:
Hi, Dawn--
I enjoyed the pictures very much. I really wanted to see the new short hair! LOVELY!
Sorry I'm not there in town just yet so maybe I could help with some of those trips. It seems there'll still be time for that when I get there!
Hang in there! Ana Kay and I are thinking of you everyday. Luke & Jeremy, I know this isn't easy on you either, but I'm sure it's your strength that helps to keep it all together. Laugh a bit--it is, they say, the best medicine.
Love, Sis
Hi Dawn,
Sherry and I just hear the news from Luke. Not something we were happy about. But, we know you and that you have got what it takes to win. We have confidence in you.
Remember, we will be keeping you in our thoughts and in our prayers.
Ray & Sherry
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